Why on earth do people insist on flaunting their ignorance by saying “PIN Number”?

It makes my teeth go on edge. It makes my blood boil. It makes me howl in anguish. Surely I can’t be the only one who feels this way?

Some banks are even stupid enough to have it on their leaflets.

For anyone who doesn’t know what I am talking about, and thinks “PIN Number, what’s wrong with that?”, well, apart from the fact that you ought to be taken out and shot, let me explain...

PIN is short for Personal Identification Number, right? So PIN Number is therefore “Personal Identification Number Number”. Which is stupid right? So stop saying it then!!!!

I have also seen the phrase “Personal PIN Number”, which sent me into a seething frenzied rage, and it took four people to stop me from doing unwarranted acts of random violence to an electrical appliance. If anyone utters the phrase “Personal PIN Identification Number” I shall not be held responsible for my actions.

Update: Chip and Pin seems to have created a tidal wave of moronicity. Everyone now says "Pin Number" at the checkouts. These people really need to die.

For those of you who don’t know, the dictionary definition of a “Haven” is “A place of safety”. So what exactly is a “Safe place of safety”? Is it a very, very safe place? Do some people think there are “Unsafe Havens”? Politicians are always using this phrase. It just goes to show how dumb most of them are!

I’ve recently started a campaign against the use of this phrase, so if you want to donate to this worthwhile cause, just send me a cheque, addressed to “Campaign Against Safe Havens”, or just C.A.S.H for short, that’s probably easier for you.

My wife is forever saying this one! Well of course it’s the time! What other answer could there possibly be to this question?
“No, it’s a packet of banana flavoured biscuits" ?

This phrase seems to have come to mean a huge step forward. Which is patently ridiculous. A quantum is just a discrete amount, and usually associated with incredibly small things, like the energy levels in a atom. So by my reckoning a "quantum leap in the exchange rate for the pound" ought to be, say, from 3.65 to 3.6500001.

Another of my wife's favourite sayings. I think she now does it on purpose just to wind me up. "How much gravy do you want?", I ask. "Not too much", she replies. Well it's a good job she told me that, otherwise I would have put too much on, now I know to put just a little bit less than that. Look, when I ask how much gravy I want an answer, not a non-answer. If I asked the bloke in the computer shop for "not 64MB of RAM", it wouldn't be much help, would it? It doesn't have to be a specific answer. I don't need to know how many cubic centimetres of gravy, just a rough idea, like "loads", "just a dribble", or "whatever's left".

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Last updated: 09 Jul 2006 17:16